Explicit Blogging Lyrics Read with Caution
Well I'm going to make this as brief as humanly possible.
My car us fucked with a capitol F. I know that I said I was going to lay off on the cursing but I'm so mad I can't help myself.
FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK.
Fuck is so powerful but it kind of has a diminishing return when used over and over again.
Reasons I'm fucked with a capitol F:
Reason 1) My car might as well be officially dead. I've had various shade tree mechanic assessments and the general census is that my head gasket is blown. According to the Kelly Blue Book People and the some Mechanic's websites I've determined that the ROI on my car has become a fantasy. It's been a good car to my family in last 13 years or so and It's racked up over a quarter of a million miles on the original timing belt.
Good job now go gently into the night my sweet prince. (Bob D. And William S.)
Reason 2) My Allergy test. Nothing against the lady that administered the test but I don't like pain and I don't like to itch. An allergy test makes you want to jump up and bitch slap somebody and then while you're laying there feeling all vulnerable you start to itch like you've never itched before. I sweat to god I felt like someone lit a sparkler and taped it to my back. Then that Allergy/Nurse/Bitch came in and wanted to stick me with some syringes! The MADNESS!
The worst part of all this was the results (details below)
I expected some things like a grass allergy but when the allergist tells you that she's never seen such a violent reaction (Yea she said violent) to grass allergens before you start to worry. The double whammy was that I had food allergies too.
Now if you lucky enough to know me then you know I'm a little big boned and I live to eat. The doc tells me that I am allergic to Mustards and Wheat. Now at first I'm like well that's cool I never get the number 2 at Sonic and I can't stand Wheat bread anyway. But then she gets all didactic on me and breaks down what it all means.
First of all I never realized that the mustard family of foods had so many non mustard like items in them. For example did you know that broccoli is in the mustard family? How about turnips? Yes they are both "mustards". So cool. No Mustard and no radishes and broccoli. I can handle that.
Then she brought it to me. Wheats. You wouldn't believe what all has wheat or wheat flour or whatever Latin name they have wheat in it.
Thank god the FDA forces people to list the ingredients in food. I just wish they did it in English. Did you know that barbecue sauce has wheat flour in it? Did you know that Almost all commercial canned soups have wheat it ? Check out ten of your favorite items to eat and I can almost guarantee you that you're going to find wheat in them.
Then it gets worse.
I love the Waffle house. Steak and Eggs, Omelets with Hashbrowns, Breakfast Sandwiches, Eggs and grits. Now tell me what all those things have in common.
EGGS!
I'm allergic to eggs too. This is where I almost lose it. Eggs are in almost everything that Wheat isn't in. Spaghetti noodles, Raman Noodles, Mac and Cheese, Raviolli, Lasagna. If the Olive Garden serves it I can't eat it. What the hell does one eat for Breakfast now. Eggs and ..no fuck that, How about Cereal and Milk..naw fuck..Lucky Charms have wheat in them. Muffin (fuck no). I've been assured by co-workers and the Internet that I can have a perfectly normal life and order food from www.weakassconstitutionpeople.com (not a real website I just made it up).
I'll adjust but now I have come to loathe eating. It used to be enjoyable and now it's a chore I have to perform to survive and greet the next day, kind of like wiping my asshole with soap. It's not pleasant but you have to do it every day.
I'm sure I'll develop some more rage over all this and take it on my blog readers but fuck you too. You surfed here, you read this much rage, and you're probably giggling your little wheat, egg eating ass off laughing at my pain.
Fuck all you people unless your a minority then your alright. But you white people need to get a grip.
By the way my other blog's link is buried in this post somewhere see if you can find it.
Posted by Jeff Estes while fighting the effects of powerful white-man's drugs.
My car us fucked with a capitol F. I know that I said I was going to lay off on the cursing but I'm so mad I can't help myself.
FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK.
Fuck is so powerful but it kind of has a diminishing return when used over and over again.
Reasons I'm fucked with a capitol F:
Reason 1) My car might as well be officially dead. I've had various shade tree mechanic assessments and the general census is that my head gasket is blown. According to the Kelly Blue Book People and the some Mechanic's websites I've determined that the ROI on my car has become a fantasy. It's been a good car to my family in last 13 years or so and It's racked up over a quarter of a million miles on the original timing belt.
Good job now go gently into the night my sweet prince. (Bob D. And William S.)
Reason 2) My Allergy test. Nothing against the lady that administered the test but I don't like pain and I don't like to itch. An allergy test makes you want to jump up and bitch slap somebody and then while you're laying there feeling all vulnerable you start to itch like you've never itched before. I sweat to god I felt like someone lit a sparkler and taped it to my back. Then that Allergy/Nurse/Bitch came in and wanted to stick me with some syringes! The MADNESS!
The worst part of all this was the results (details below)
I expected some things like a grass allergy but when the allergist tells you that she's never seen such a violent reaction (Yea she said violent) to grass allergens before you start to worry. The double whammy was that I had food allergies too.
Now if you lucky enough to know me then you know I'm a little big boned and I live to eat. The doc tells me that I am allergic to Mustards and Wheat. Now at first I'm like well that's cool I never get the number 2 at Sonic and I can't stand Wheat bread anyway. But then she gets all didactic on me and breaks down what it all means.
First of all I never realized that the mustard family of foods had so many non mustard like items in them. For example did you know that broccoli is in the mustard family? How about turnips? Yes they are both "mustards". So cool. No Mustard and no radishes and broccoli. I can handle that.
Then she brought it to me. Wheats. You wouldn't believe what all has wheat or wheat flour or whatever Latin name they have wheat in it.
Thank god the FDA forces people to list the ingredients in food. I just wish they did it in English. Did you know that barbecue sauce has wheat flour in it? Did you know that Almost all commercial canned soups have wheat it ? Check out ten of your favorite items to eat and I can almost guarantee you that you're going to find wheat in them.
Then it gets worse.
I love the Waffle house. Steak and Eggs, Omelets with Hashbrowns, Breakfast Sandwiches, Eggs and grits. Now tell me what all those things have in common.
EGGS!
I'm allergic to eggs too. This is where I almost lose it. Eggs are in almost everything that Wheat isn't in. Spaghetti noodles, Raman Noodles, Mac and Cheese, Raviolli, Lasagna. If the Olive Garden serves it I can't eat it. What the hell does one eat for Breakfast now. Eggs and ..no fuck that, How about Cereal and Milk..naw fuck..Lucky Charms have wheat in them. Muffin (fuck no). I've been assured by co-workers and the Internet that I can have a perfectly normal life and order food from www.weakassconstitutionpeople.com (not a real website I just made it up).
I'll adjust but now I have come to loathe eating. It used to be enjoyable and now it's a chore I have to perform to survive and greet the next day, kind of like wiping my asshole with soap. It's not pleasant but you have to do it every day.
I'm sure I'll develop some more rage over all this and take it on my blog readers but fuck you too. You surfed here, you read this much rage, and you're probably giggling your little wheat, egg eating ass off laughing at my pain.
Fuck all you people unless your a minority then your alright. But you white people need to get a grip.
By the way my other blog's link is buried in this post somewhere see if you can find it.
Posted by Jeff Estes while fighting the effects of powerful white-man's drugs.
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