Shit that might go BOOM!!!
This post is a collection of three emails I received from my woman. Read them in order and get a laugh on me:
1st Email
so i just listened to your gaylesbo channel thing. ha ha. now i'm inthe garage and there's some really freaking weird ass sound in hereand if it blows up and me with it i want you to know i love you andtake care of the kids (hire someone to help). god, it's a shrillsqueak like air coming out of a balloon when someone's pinching it andit just starts over when the air runs out...maybe there's a rat dyingin here and that its agonal gasp or something... this is freaking meway out!!!!!!
2nd Email
WHAT IF IT'S THE FREAKING PROPANE LEAKING OUT OF ONE OF THOSECONTAINERS? AM I GONNA BLOW UP????????????? I'M AFRAID TO TOUCHTHEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3rd Email
Okay, if this is it... I love you. I love the kids. I'm glad they'renot here and they're safe. Tell them their mommy loves them more thanlife, okay? I'm inside and I'm going to bed cause if I gotta go I wantto go in my sleep.If you find another woman I'll understand. In fact, you'll probablyneed to cause someone's gotta cook and clean. Just don't let her LAY AHAND on my children or I will come back and beat your ass in this lifeany every life you have after this one.Maybe I'll get lucky and the propane will just slowly leak out untilthe cannister is empty and we'll never know the difference. If that'sthe case then I'm sorry I said I'll beat your ass and I'll have dinnerready when you get here.P.S. She absolutely HAS to be 40 lbs heavier and at least 9 years older, okay?
Posted by Jeff from his cold ass garage that might explode at any minute.
1st Email
so i just listened to your gaylesbo channel thing. ha ha. now i'm inthe garage and there's some really freaking weird ass sound in hereand if it blows up and me with it i want you to know i love you andtake care of the kids (hire someone to help). god, it's a shrillsqueak like air coming out of a balloon when someone's pinching it andit just starts over when the air runs out...maybe there's a rat dyingin here and that its agonal gasp or something... this is freaking meway out!!!!!!
2nd Email
WHAT IF IT'S THE FREAKING PROPANE LEAKING OUT OF ONE OF THOSECONTAINERS? AM I GONNA BLOW UP????????????? I'M AFRAID TO TOUCHTHEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3rd Email
Okay, if this is it... I love you. I love the kids. I'm glad they'renot here and they're safe. Tell them their mommy loves them more thanlife, okay? I'm inside and I'm going to bed cause if I gotta go I wantto go in my sleep.If you find another woman I'll understand. In fact, you'll probablyneed to cause someone's gotta cook and clean. Just don't let her LAY AHAND on my children or I will come back and beat your ass in this lifeany every life you have after this one.Maybe I'll get lucky and the propane will just slowly leak out untilthe cannister is empty and we'll never know the difference. If that'sthe case then I'm sorry I said I'll beat your ass and I'll have dinnerready when you get here.P.S. She absolutely HAS to be 40 lbs heavier and at least 9 years older, okay?
Posted by Jeff from his cold ass garage that might explode at any minute.
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