Old post I found but never posted.
I feel bad posting this since it's a post I wrote like a month ago but never got it online.
Here it is raw and unedited.
************Warning dated old ass post but the CS stuff is good*************************
I got raped all week long.
New Job, new responsibilities and I'm a one man Pony show. It's only a two man department and my big kahuna/boss/friend/whatever was on vacation so I had to wing the new job with my own moral rudder. I think it went rather well other than getting raped all week long.
This entire Blog has been all about getting raped daily as a help desk technician but I guess it's time to make some changes. I guess I can't call it "Scoolio the Helpdesk Technician with One Blog to Rule them All" anymore so I'm open to ideas.
Let me know what you thing and we'll wing a new title.
Non Work or Kind of Non work related stuff.
My buddie FNG is building a new CS server that we're going to use for our free time gaming. We game because we stress. We stress because we talk to stupid people all day long. We talk to stupid people because stupid people don't need a license to own a computer.
Anyway CS has been our game of choice for awhile now and I've been playing so much lately my wifey has been a little curious about the game. She wonders what it does that makes it so powerful, so alluring, that it pulls me into its little world and doesn't relinquish control until dinner is ready.
She won't admit it but she really wants to learn how to play CS (I'm fantasizing here).
For her and some of my other fellow helpdesk technicians who we are trying to suck themselves into this world with us I have taken the liberty of trolling dozens of CS websites and I found this listing of CS jargon one is prone to hear when dealing with other CS players. Check it out:
What are they talking about...?!Or Counter-Strike SLANG guide
TERM
EXPLANATION
CHEATER
Anyone who kills you. Ever. No matter that you left your keyboard for five minutes to take a piss (hmm long piss) they must have cheated to kill you. Only explanation.
CAMPER
Often it’s not tactful to call everyone a cheater, so this is the alternative. Phrases like "YOU FUCKING CAMPING FAGGOT" translate roughly to "Well done mate, good shot."
WHORE
Someone who is not very nice. They probably just killed you with a glock despite your efforts with the Para.
BIATCH
Something to label the nearest person to you when you die. After all it’s not as if you would have ACTUALLY died normally. Someone MUST have got in your way, or be cheating or something.
RAPED
Sometimes when you are outplayed (it’s inevitable, trust us) you may wish to confer your congratulations to your wily attacker. Such respects are payed by saying you were "raped". An example might be if a FUCKING CAMPING FAGGOT killed you from the tower near the CT respawn on siege. You didn't even see it coming, it was a deadly shot and a good move, so it’s nice to say politely "FUCK ME, I WAS RAPED!”
w00t!
This has no real meaning, and is used primarily to baffle and amaze onlookers by confounding them. Be careful and don't fall for it!
WTF?!
This is short for WHAT THE FUCK? A useful acronym that is used quite often to inform others that you tentatively believe that you were a little unlucky to die in the way you did (i.e. you shot a guy twice with your AWP but he still managed to get 5 headshots with his TMP, kill you and live).
FUCK ME!
A request for sexual gratification from another player.
OMG
This stands for OH MY GOD. It is common to spurt this and as many other acronyms as available after each time you die, to let the other players know you are still around.
BS
Short for BULL SHIT. Some of the more advanced players use this to explain to others that they might have been hard done by in the last round when the utter newbie knifed them to death in the lag.
GG
Short for GOOD GAME and the only thing short enough to type quickly at the end of a map. Rest assured that if you are a quick enough typist other things are quite acceptable here, for example: "Good game my ARSE you fucking camping faggots" or the much more cryptic "OMG FFS! BS GG WTF?!? w00t! l337!"
FUK
This basically is a term used to berate oneself for poor play. Typically said after getting knifed to death trying to hit a guy with your AUG.
FUCKING LAG
This is typically a clever bluff to inform other players that you may be a little lagged. Thinking you are a bit lagged they may treat you with less attention and allow you to do better.
I OWN YOU
A polite way of reminding someone that you killed them. Typically this is replied to with "FUCKING CAMPING WHORE" which means "Well done".
FUCK YOU I OWN YOU
This is our favorite and can pretty much be used in ANY situation. For example, your mum asks "Can you please pass the salt?" to which you can simply reply "FUCK YOU I OWN YOU".
PARA WHORE
Someone with a weird fascination for having sex with guns.
CAMPING SLUT
Someone who kills unwary combatants from the sheltered confines of his tent. I recommend it.
JUMPING WHORE
Those players that play with the config +pogostickuparse option turned on. Sadly these people have been misinformed; jumping around all over the place is not actually in the counter-terrorism manual under fighting techniques.
CHEATING BASTARD
Its good to have an alias for this one, especially if you die a lot. Typically a cheating bastard is a really good player who gets a lot of kills. The best players are always cheating bastards.
YOU MOTHERFUCKING GOAT DICK SUCKER!
This is quite an inventive and imaginative one, it is pretty much saying without much ado that you are not happy with something someone else did.
FUCKING TEAMS!!!
A polite call to those players who are doing really well (the cheating bastards) to consider evening up the teams a little. Generally such polite suggestions are ignored and one must be a little more insistent and say something like "YOU FUCKING PISSFUCK WANKERS, EVEN UP THE FUCKING TEAMS!!!” which is more effective.
LOL
Short for "laughing out loud".
LPB
Short for "low ping bastards".
For those of you that are friends of mine and wish to play CS with us get a copy of CS source like as soon as you get paid. You can find CS: Source at www.steampowered.com or you can try www.ebay.com if your wallet swings that way. I've found really good cheap legit copies of CS: Source bundled with Half Life2 on sites like www.newegg.com
CS: Source is just counter strike using the new kickasstastic Half Life2 games engine. So just about anywhere you can buy HL2 your gonna pick up CS: Source. Check out www.steampowerd.com for the full gamut of HL2 packages. If you wanna go cheap and just pick up CS: Condition Zero (aka CS 1.6 vs. 1.5 the original) you can find it for 15.00 dollars as an online download through Steam.
When your checking out the HL2 packages you should note that the *: source games are just the older games updated with the Source game engine.
Posted by Jeff Estes shortly after getting raped on CS servers all over the globe.
**********************end of old ass post*********************************
Posted by Jeff Estes while doing hard drive cleanup.
Here it is raw and unedited.
************Warning dated old ass post but the CS stuff is good*************************
I got raped all week long.
New Job, new responsibilities and I'm a one man Pony show. It's only a two man department and my big kahuna/boss/friend/whatever was on vacation so I had to wing the new job with my own moral rudder. I think it went rather well other than getting raped all week long.
This entire Blog has been all about getting raped daily as a help desk technician but I guess it's time to make some changes. I guess I can't call it "Scoolio the Helpdesk Technician with One Blog to Rule them All" anymore so I'm open to ideas.
Let me know what you thing and we'll wing a new title.
Non Work or Kind of Non work related stuff.
My buddie FNG is building a new CS server that we're going to use for our free time gaming. We game because we stress. We stress because we talk to stupid people all day long. We talk to stupid people because stupid people don't need a license to own a computer.
Anyway CS has been our game of choice for awhile now and I've been playing so much lately my wifey has been a little curious about the game. She wonders what it does that makes it so powerful, so alluring, that it pulls me into its little world and doesn't relinquish control until dinner is ready.
She won't admit it but she really wants to learn how to play CS (I'm fantasizing here).
For her and some of my other fellow helpdesk technicians who we are trying to suck themselves into this world with us I have taken the liberty of trolling dozens of CS websites and I found this listing of CS jargon one is prone to hear when dealing with other CS players. Check it out:
What are they talking about...?!Or Counter-Strike SLANG guide
TERM
EXPLANATION
CHEATER
Anyone who kills you. Ever. No matter that you left your keyboard for five minutes to take a piss (hmm long piss) they must have cheated to kill you. Only explanation.
CAMPER
Often it’s not tactful to call everyone a cheater, so this is the alternative. Phrases like "YOU FUCKING CAMPING FAGGOT" translate roughly to "Well done mate, good shot."
WHORE
Someone who is not very nice. They probably just killed you with a glock despite your efforts with the Para.
BIATCH
Something to label the nearest person to you when you die. After all it’s not as if you would have ACTUALLY died normally. Someone MUST have got in your way, or be cheating or something.
RAPED
Sometimes when you are outplayed (it’s inevitable, trust us) you may wish to confer your congratulations to your wily attacker. Such respects are payed by saying you were "raped". An example might be if a FUCKING CAMPING FAGGOT killed you from the tower near the CT respawn on siege. You didn't even see it coming, it was a deadly shot and a good move, so it’s nice to say politely "FUCK ME, I WAS RAPED!”
w00t!
This has no real meaning, and is used primarily to baffle and amaze onlookers by confounding them. Be careful and don't fall for it!
WTF?!
This is short for WHAT THE FUCK? A useful acronym that is used quite often to inform others that you tentatively believe that you were a little unlucky to die in the way you did (i.e. you shot a guy twice with your AWP but he still managed to get 5 headshots with his TMP, kill you and live).
FUCK ME!
A request for sexual gratification from another player.
OMG
This stands for OH MY GOD. It is common to spurt this and as many other acronyms as available after each time you die, to let the other players know you are still around.
BS
Short for BULL SHIT. Some of the more advanced players use this to explain to others that they might have been hard done by in the last round when the utter newbie knifed them to death in the lag.
GG
Short for GOOD GAME and the only thing short enough to type quickly at the end of a map. Rest assured that if you are a quick enough typist other things are quite acceptable here, for example: "Good game my ARSE you fucking camping faggots" or the much more cryptic "OMG FFS! BS GG WTF?!? w00t! l337!"
FUK
This basically is a term used to berate oneself for poor play. Typically said after getting knifed to death trying to hit a guy with your AUG.
FUCKING LAG
This is typically a clever bluff to inform other players that you may be a little lagged. Thinking you are a bit lagged they may treat you with less attention and allow you to do better.
I OWN YOU
A polite way of reminding someone that you killed them. Typically this is replied to with "FUCKING CAMPING WHORE" which means "Well done".
FUCK YOU I OWN YOU
This is our favorite and can pretty much be used in ANY situation. For example, your mum asks "Can you please pass the salt?" to which you can simply reply "FUCK YOU I OWN YOU".
PARA WHORE
Someone with a weird fascination for having sex with guns.
CAMPING SLUT
Someone who kills unwary combatants from the sheltered confines of his tent. I recommend it.
JUMPING WHORE
Those players that play with the config +pogostickuparse option turned on. Sadly these people have been misinformed; jumping around all over the place is not actually in the counter-terrorism manual under fighting techniques.
CHEATING BASTARD
Its good to have an alias for this one, especially if you die a lot. Typically a cheating bastard is a really good player who gets a lot of kills. The best players are always cheating bastards.
YOU MOTHERFUCKING GOAT DICK SUCKER!
This is quite an inventive and imaginative one, it is pretty much saying without much ado that you are not happy with something someone else did.
FUCKING TEAMS!!!
A polite call to those players who are doing really well (the cheating bastards) to consider evening up the teams a little. Generally such polite suggestions are ignored and one must be a little more insistent and say something like "YOU FUCKING PISSFUCK WANKERS, EVEN UP THE FUCKING TEAMS!!!” which is more effective.
LOL
Short for "laughing out loud".
LPB
Short for "low ping bastards".
For those of you that are friends of mine and wish to play CS with us get a copy of CS source like as soon as you get paid. You can find CS: Source at www.steampowered.com or you can try www.ebay.com if your wallet swings that way. I've found really good cheap legit copies of CS: Source bundled with Half Life2 on sites like www.newegg.com
CS: Source is just counter strike using the new kickasstastic Half Life2 games engine. So just about anywhere you can buy HL2 your gonna pick up CS: Source. Check out www.steampowerd.com for the full gamut of HL2 packages. If you wanna go cheap and just pick up CS: Condition Zero (aka CS 1.6 vs. 1.5 the original) you can find it for 15.00 dollars as an online download through Steam.
When your checking out the HL2 packages you should note that the *: source games are just the older games updated with the Source game engine.
Posted by Jeff Estes shortly after getting raped on CS servers all over the globe.
**********************end of old ass post*********************************
Posted by Jeff Estes while doing hard drive cleanup.
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